It has been 18 years!

I remember the day we left; that very day when everything changed, and life took a leap of surprises for all five of us! It was a Summer day: bright and early; The house was empty; our luggages were all sitting in the middle of an empty living room, and dad was running around looking for the stray cat that we let into the house every now and then. “Pishan”, the cat I just mentioned had found his way into the house, taking advantage of the last minute chaos and dad couldn’t find him. We, finally, found him in the balcony and said our goodbyes. Then, we headed over to one of my grandma’s closest friends to say one last goodbye. She was the last person with traces of grandma; The dearest grandma I had lost a few years back. After she left us, everything changed. It was then that dad convinced mum to leave our shit country for a better life. Mum never wanted to leave her roots behind. She had such deep attachments. I think she knew life wasn’t going to get any easier once we left. Only if she had resisted!

We left the soil of what some call “motherland” to make another place home. Today, marks the 18th year of making this new place home, all 18 of those years have been absolute Hell. And before you put your guards on and bombard me with questions, hear me out. Hear my story out! Little by little; event by event; and slow but deep. I am the voice of a generation that tried to build a better life. I am the voice of a lost soul, who was slapped with the reality of what she was trying to ignore. Today, I came down to my knees and surrendered to a life that was supposed to be so much more glamorous and so much more promising. Today, I realized how bad I fucked up. And I am talking about 18 years of fucking up. I am not too sure if at my age any major repairs could be done specially when your loved ones are dealing with life and death situations.

As I have promised, I will be revealing the past 18 years little by little. For today, let’s keep in mind that immigration is, by far, the bravest decision someone could ever make. Let’s keep in mind that you’ve got to have some serious balls to leave everything behind and start over specially when you’ve been living a good life. Next time you come across someone with an accent, even the subtlest glimps of it, respect that person even more! The least they have over you is a bravery that you probably lack!

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